What To Do When Your Teen Wants To Quit?

Teenage life is full of changes; it sometimes extends to their hobbies and career choices. Adolescence starts a new phase in their life when they seek autonomy and seek their identity. It is natural they might want to quit some activities they no longer enjoy or relate to. But quitting some activities like a sport might be alarming to parents. Athlete kids spend a lot of time building their parents’ skills and finances on coaches and equipment. So, it is understandable that for parents, it might be a huge shock. Forcing or guilting them to continue an activity or sport will only lead to your teen distancing.

• Let them find their new favorite activity.

As your teen will make new friends, they will get to pick from many new activities. Also, the school curriculum and activity clubs will engage them in extra-curricular activities. Taking a break will let them find a new favorite activity.  After a few months, they will settle on an activity they enjoy. Quitting might be triggered because they want to take up the activities they consider important for college applications. Or simply because they no longer enjoy the previous activity.

As they develop an interest in a new activity, they will cut down on their previous activities. As they will have a lot on their plate, and they would simply be prioritizing their time.

Also, parents need to realize that they might not be perfect in the new activity. All that matters is that they enjoy doing that. So, comparing their expertise in their previous and new favorite activity is not a good move. It will further demotivate them from exploring new things. Instead, in this phase, parents must remain understanding towards their teen.

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Along with their interest in the new activities, the teen also tries to define themselves and find their true passion. It will be understandable if they drop and pick new activities initially. They are searching for what suits them the best let them take their time. For all its worth, they might gravitate back to their old activity. But after a few months, they will settle in their new activity. What is important is that they are happy.

• Try to understand their reasons.

Sometimes teens themselves do not understand the reason, and they need parental guidance. Parents need to sit down with their kids and figure out why they want to quit.

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It might just be a temporary break: Or as everyone calls it ‘a a phase’. As teenagers grow up, their behavior and interests evolve with them. They might find a new passion in their high school years. These are busy years; they juggle academics, activities, and friends. So, they might need to take breaks in a few activities before they hit their burnout point. Often doing an activity for years builds a schedule, and they might want to get out of that schedule. This break might help them explore other things, and they will benefit from that.

The stress to be perfect: Especially in the case of athletes, the stress to perform well, competition, and rigorous coaching hours lead them to quit. They miss out a lot on their sport, and the constant demand for perfection over the years can be exhausting. An activity stops being enjoyable when you are being judged for it and constantly told to do better. It is important that parents understand that and not force them to continue. Instead, they must find out ways to resolve this conflict. It might or might not end up with them quitting the sport. The true goal is their happiness, so the focus should be on that.

• Realize when it is becoming a behavioral pattern.

Quitting becomes an issue if the teen is in the habit of frequently taking up and leaving activities. Talking to them about it is important. Often, the issues can be as simple as the friends’ circle, but sometimes they might have deeper causes. Addressing these issues will help them figure out where they are going wrong and how to resolve that.  Parents should not punish or guilt the child to do something they no longer enjoy; you will add to the misery. Instead, it is time you should show support.

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Also, the way they quit is important, especially if it is a team activity. Convince them to complete the season or the activity as it was planned. Leaving a team activity without notice will make them think it is okay to bail out on people. The team relies on them, and seeing the activity through is the right way to quit. And if they quit suddenly, they might be viewed as unreliable and lose a few friends. Completing the team task will also help ease the guilt they will feel after quitting.

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