All About IVFAs children become adolescents, the conflicts between parents and children start rising and they start seeking support from their friends. In this case, commenting on their friendship circles might push them farther away.
At this stage, the teenagers start forming their social circles and seek a sense of belonging with their peers. This is the stage that the shift in their reference groups takes place as they start becoming independent and search for people of similar mindsets and goals. It is a natural process but that does not mean that teenagers do not need their parental support in making decisions, but the strife comes between them due to differences in opinions. Parents need to realize that their children start forming opinions during this stage of their life and seek respect and recognition.
Also, the support of friends plays a huge role in the development of the teenager and forming a sense of belonging.
There are many ways that friends help an individual; some of them are listed below:
Friends help alleviate stress:
- According to a study, teenager’s immediate response to stress was better when they were with their friends as compared to when with adults, it allows them to be open and receive support without fearing censure.
- Also, friends provide distractions and since they are facing similar issues, they find it easier to relate to and understand the situation.
Also Read: 10 Everyday Chores so that Your Kids Learn Basic Discipline
Better self-esteem:
- High self-esteem makes a confident individual and a happier one at that. A person with a healthy self-esteem has positive behavioral traits like an independent approach to things, better handling of uncertain situations, and having compassion and empathy.
- This in turn reduces the feelings of insecurity and helps them realize their potential, lowering the rates of anxiety and depression.
- According to research, adolescent aged around 15 and 16 who had at least one close friend, instead of a bigger friend’s circle, had higher levels of self-esteem and self-worth and low levels of social anxiety and depression at the age of 25 in contrast to the ones who were popular as teens.
More empathy and feelings of trust toward others:
- Friendships play a huge role in developing complex behavioral cognitions and forging trust in the early years of a person’s life.
- They play a key role in providing a stable environment in the backdrop of so many changes that come in with becoming a teenager.
- This also teaches them how to navigate relationships outside family and form their own social identity.
So how should parents deal with their teenager becoming distant?
Respecting their decisions:
- Parents need to realize that as the child grows up, they want to make their own decisions and become independent.
- Think of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, this stage is them fulfilling their social and self-esteem needs. If the parents demotivate them every time, they make a mistake the teenager will further distance themselves from the parents, instead it is a good idea to motivate them and ask them to rethink a decision.
- Censure from parents creates feelings of insecurity in children, hence affecting their self-esteem.
Also Read: 10 Principles That Every Good Parent Should Follow
Talking and Listening:
Conversations are a two-way process, instead of secretly keeping tabs having open communication with your teenager will promote the feeling of trust. Asking them about what is bothering them and listening before dismissing their concerns. Sharing activities with them and creating time for each other.
Communicating your hard limits is also necessary, many kids who fall under the wrong influence end up taking drugs, it is necessary to set ground rules and telling them why these rules exist.
Keeping an eye on the company they keep:
A friendship is only beneficial if it is healthy, there are many ways of falling into the wrong company can affect your child. So, keeping an open mind and friendly attitude towards their friends helps them understand the dynamics of the friendship. If you find out that the company is wrong instead of forcing them to cut ties it is important to make them realize how they are in the wrong company, and in what way it is affecting them mentally. And for this, the teen should have a healthy trusting relationship with the parents. Hence making sure that there is a good relationship between parent and teen is important.
Also Read: You should stop saying these 6 things to your kids.
Seeking Professional Help:
Sometimes it might get hard to break through the mental barrier teenagers create and seeking help from a psychologist might help both the parent and the child make sense of the dynamics of their relationship.
Also Read: 10 Things You Should Stop Doing Before Going to Sleep
In conclusion, it is imperative for parents to realize that these years are crucial in the development of self-identity in the teen’s life, and giving them space and freedom will bring them closer instead of distancing them. Also, setting rules instead of micro-managing the child would go a long way towards building trust. Friendships form a huge part of a teen’s life experience and help them develop and cope with changes in many ways, they form an essential part of growing up.
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