Early parenting is all about waking up in the middle of the night to soothe your child and put them back to bed. Till children are four-year-old, they require their parent’s help in learning how to sleep. This includes returning them to bed when they wake up too soon and helping them in calming down after having bad dreams.
1. Make a regular bedtime ritual.
Make a bedtime routine. It could be as basic as singing a song and switching on the white-noise machine if you have an infant. For a toddler, include them in the planning process. Allow them to choose how many books you’ll read together and when you’ll cuddle (this assists them in identifying their own relaxing needs and provides a sense of control). Then, write down the steps in order — “Put on pajamas, brush teeth, read stories, cuddle, lights out” — so that everybody knows what to expect. Use a picture book for children who can’t read. This might act as classical conditioning as soon as you tell them to put on their pjs and brush their teeth they’ll start feeling sleepy.
2. Spend some time together.
Some children get agitated at bedtime as a result of a need for more affection from their parents. When parents are working full-time through the day, kids only get their parents’ attention during the evenings. When a caregiver or caretaker is present all the time, though, be it a parent or a nanny. The children become reliant on the caretaker’s presence, and it becomes their source of comfort. Spending a few minutes with them and asking kids about their day (focusing on the positive aspects). Or telling them stories from your childhood or a little about their siblings may be a sweet routine. This will also help you and your child bond better.
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3. Follow the routine.
Since it provides predictability, sticking to a fixed bedtime makes children feel safe. Children of all ages (and adults) should preferably go to bed and wake up at the same hours every day, around 30 to 60 minutes plus or minus the scheduled time. That includes weekends as well. Early bedtimes (before 9:00 p.m.) guarantee that younger children get more sleep and are alert in the morning.
Toddlers need around 10 to 12 hours of rest a night. So, if your children must wake up early for daycare or kindergarten, ensure their bedtime is set early enough so that they get a good night’s sleep.
4. Limit electronic screen time.
Before going to bed, toddlers should avoid using electronic devices because their blue light affects the brain. This will make kids feel wired up while they should be sleeping, as well as suppress the release of the sleep hormones melatonin and serotonin. Children should turn off their computers at least one or two hours before going to bed.
Children who spend less time on their computers are usually more active, so they burn their energy and tire themselves out during the day, making it easy to fall asleep at night.
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5. Your Toddler might be overtired or might have over-napped.
Overtired kids, unusual as it might be, have a tougher time falling asleep than ones who are not overtired. In certain children, being overtired will lead to hyperactivity, making it much more difficult to fall asleep at bedtime. Identify when your toddler looks drowsy and ready to fall asleep, that is the time to put them to bed, if they stay awake post this, they will become fussy and irritated.
Also, make sure that the napping time of your toddler is long before the actual sleeping time. If you overdo the napping, it might result in your toddler being alert throughout the night. Try to skip it or make sure it timed at least 6-8 hours before the nap time.
6. Make the bedroom cozy.
Set up their bedroom to look as inviting, cozy, and relaxing as possible. If they like cars, puppies, or fairies, get them a cute poster, stuffed toy, or blanket (or make one yourself) that represents their interests and keep it in their room. Keep the space clean, uncluttered, at a consistent temperature (not too hot, not too cold), and quiet so that it is comfortable for sleeping. Choose a nightlight or glow-in-the-dark ceiling stickers for your kid if he or she is scared of the dark.
Adjusting and learning to sleep on time is a part of growing up for kids. Eventually, they will start sleeping on time on their own. Some children learn it early while some take time, parents should not pressurize them to sleep as it would be counterproductive and stress them.
Six things you should not tell your child if they wet their bed after 5
Generally, by the age of 5, most toddlers are toilet trained, and bedwetting at the age of or after 5 is something that is less common. According to studies and research, bedwetting till the age of 7 is not a concern. In most homes, children bedwetting and waking up with wet clothes is a typical scene. But your reaction as a parent needs a little change. Generally, most parents start to shame and warn their child, which is not the right way. It is part of their normal growing up. This post highlights some of the phrases that you should avoid telling your children if they wet their bed.
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“What a shame.”
Most parents feel that shaming their children would be beneficial for them, but this is not at all so. Shaming your child may make them feel that they are not trying hard to control, which creates a deep impact on their self-confidence, thereby wetting the bed more often. Shaming them is hence the last thing you want to do. So instead of that, you can reassure them and encourage them by saying that it was just an accident. That doesn’t mean you are ignoring it, but there is a process for bedwetting treatments that you should follow.
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“For wetting your bed, you will not get to watch TV or have your treat.”
Punishing your children for wetting their bed is what most parents resort to. This is the wrong method. You have to understand that they are growing up and they are not intentionally resorting to such things. Regularly changing your sheets and cleaning can make you irritated. But refrain from using this irritation on your children. Explain the bedwetting treatment to them, and when they follow it, give them treats and rewards which will motivate them to try harder.
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“You should learn from your brother/sister.”
Now it often happens that a child might be having a younger sibling, and probably they are not wetting their bed. In such cases, parents try to compare the older child with the younger ones. Understand this, it’s very wrong. They instantly start feeling embarrassed and shameful. If your 8-year-old kid is wetting the bed and the 4-year-old is not. It doesn’t mean that your elder child is doing it on purpose. Bedwetting is not on their hands. So, try not to compare with siblings or even friends. Instead, reassure them by saying everything is fine and it happens. Try also to convince the younger one to support their brother/sister rather than making fun.
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“You are very lazy.”
Most parents often feel that their child is intentionally lazy. They try to blame their child, saying that they are quite lazy. But it is not so. There can be numerous reasons for this. They are probably deep sleepers, or there is a problem with hormones or a problem in coordination with the brain and bladder. Try solving those instead of blaming your child as they really don’t have any hand on it.
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“Clean this up.”
In some homes, kids are required to pull their sheets and put them to wash. Parents feel that making them responsible for their actions will make them stop doing it. But forcing kids to always clean may make them feel that it’s a big mistake they are making. It would hurt their morale and create an impact on their self-esteem. It is not that your child is not upset about it. So, instead of commanding them to work it out together. You can obviously make them responsible, so clean up together. While you are cleaning up, try to also calm them down and relieve their stress.
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“I failed to teach you.”
Blaming yourself or giving up too easily is something you should not do. If you say such things in front of your kid, in most cases, your kids feel quite bad that they are disappointing their parents. They start questioning themselves and become more anxious than ever. It will be really beneficial that instead of saying so, reassure them that you both are on the same team and you would work it out together.
Summing up
There are many reasons why a child wets their bed. Saying the above-mentioned phrases does more harm than good. So, try to avoid such phrases and be comfortable with your child while talking them through it. You can educate them, make them feel that there are children who wet their bed too. Conveying your personal experience as a kid always will them understand the problem. You can always call for a pediatrician and ask them about certain bedwetting treatments. The most important thing is to be encouraging; they should be absolutely comfortable with you. When they start feeling that you are on their team, it will make them try and follow the bedwetting treatment routinely.
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