All About IVF
According to WHO estimates there are around 48 million couples and 186 million individuals who deal with infertility on a global scale.
Before starting, I would like to say that it is not your fault and being infertile does not make you any less of a woman or a man. Coming to terms with infertility is hard and a painful journey, but it is the most important one. Therefore, before you tell it to your partner or anyone else around you, you should first seek peace with yourself by fighting and silencing that nasty little voice in your head that is blaming you. Because later there will be many opinions and voices that will try to shame you or blame you, which might ultimately cost you your peace and confidence.
Also Read: 5 Signs That You Are Ovulating Right Now
Conversations of this nature are heart-breaking and uncertain, but there are ways to have a healthy conversation with your partner and work together as a team.
Try Not to Get Defensive
When you finally let the cat out of the bag, try to listen and not get defensive. Remember it is as painful for them as it is for you and it affects both of you. They might need some time to come to terms with it and space. Try not to take it personally, give them some time and space to think about and absorb the situation.
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According to a study during fertility treatment, “Men used proportionately greater amounts of distancing, self-controlling, and planful problem-solving.” The couple must realize that a relationship is not all about having babies. Every time you think you think you are going to spiral into a bitter argument, take a walk to cool off.
Keep Checking Up on Your Partner and Yourself.
This should be done by both the partners; both are going through this together and asking a “How they are feeling?” also helps open a better conversation. Don’t forget to keep a tab on your feelings as well, reading personal accounts of people who have gone through this journey might help make sense of many things around you.
Keep your partner involved while researching fertility options like IVF, surrogacy, adoption, you might want to be in control, but it is a long battle a physical and emotional one, taking support from your partner whenever you can also help them feel less helpless about the situation. In a podcast Matt & Doree’s Eggcellent Adventure, about their IVF journey Matt Mira said:
“The biggest thing I can stress to the partner on the non-carrying side of it is to do whatever it is you can to make the other person feel they aren’t alone, whether that means going into work a little late if you have to be at an appointment—even if it’s just an appointment to count follicles, it’s still important to go to those.”
Also Read: Ovulation- how long does it last?
It might feel easier to isolate yourself, but it would bring you closer to communicate. According to a study; IUI and IVF treatments can benefit a relationship by forcing a couple to communicate better communication and build better-coping strategies.
Keep the Conversation Flowing
Which fertility methods work the best for you is something your body decides, but what you feel about the methods is something to be considered. All these methods are costly enough to burn a hole through your pocket, working out expectations and what is feasible is important. Educating your partner about IVF treatment and that it does not always guarantee success is important and so is keeping an open mindset about adoption. Fertility treatments can take years to work also they might make a huge dent in your life savings, as a couple you need to be prepared for this, and while in this process it is important to keep evaluating and revaluating your decisions.
Inserting hormones in your body will take a toll on you, instead of keeping it all in communicating how you feel and ask your partner open-ended questions about the doubts that pop up in your mind.
There might be a point when you would need to involve your family, resolving that and deciding who should make calls is also important, in this time you only need those people who are there to support you and not someone lecturing you about your health.
Also Read: Your guide to a fertility checkup
Know When to Seek Help and When to Call It Quits
You might not want to hear it now, but many partners start a toxic blame game. If your partner is not being supportive and berates you making infertility the source of their conversation, there are two ways – seek a relationship counselor and when that does not work you should call it quits. These IUI and IVF treatments are physically and emotionally taxing, you do not need to make your home your battleground too.
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