Dinner Time Arguments With Children- 7 Ways To Avoid Them.

Dinnertime is the time to sit with your family and unwind after a long day, but oftentimes it ends in a frustrating clash of parents and children and ruining everyone’s appetite. According to Stanford Children’s Health ‘Dinner is a perfect opportunity to build self-esteem in children. By listening to what children have to say, you are saying, “I value what you do; I respect who you are and what you’re doing; what you do is important to me.”’ So, here are 7 ways to tackle or avoid dinner time arguments:

Identifying the topics of arguments:

According to a study, there are 4 types of arguments; qualitative, quantitative, appeal to consistency, authority. These were used frequently by parents and children alike during mealtime discussions.

• The quality and quantity of the food form the most arguments revealed the study, the quality i.e., the taste and texture of food become the source for children, on the other hand, it refers to parents persuading the children that the food is nutritious and healthy, and parents pressuring children to eat more quantity of food formed their major arguments.
• Appeal to consistency: These arguments start with a conversation related to past behavior, parents either compliment or censure the children during mealtimes, which either ends in a negotiation or a fight.
• Authority: The power play mostly between teenage children and parents, and sometimes even preschoolers, becomes the source of argument. For example, if a parent asks their child about not using their smartphone during dinner, the child argues that the parent uses their phone during dinners which will end in the parent pointing out that they are adults and they have important things to do.

Other than that, there might be recurring sources of argument at your dining table, not discussing them while eating is the best approach.

Set Dining Table Rules:

It is important to make rules if every family meal ends in a battle. Rules like:

1. Politely declining the food instead of passing insulting remarks.
2. No watching T.V. or using mobile phones are allowed at the dining table.
3. No shouting or negative conversations.
4. Arriving at dinner on time.

And many more, making sure that everyone is at the table to eat and not spend quality time. It is important to follow these rules consistently for this to work.

Also Read: You should stop saying these 6 things to your kids.

Do not discipline your child during dining hours:

Conversations related to schoolwork, or even telling them to eat more should not be done at the dining table. You would not you are your boss critiquing your work while you try to eat, it is similar for kids. It is better to leave them off for later. And constantly nagging children to eat mode just makes them avoid the dining table more. Force-feeding has been linked to child obesity and fussy eating. So, telling them to eat only as much can be a better and healthier option.

Be a role model:

Children reflect their parent’s behavior, so if you are in a habit of bringing your work- or work-related frustrations to the table, children soon pick up on that sentiment and do the same.

In research involving 55 families, it was found that it was more probable that it was the parents who were distracted by their phones more than the children.

Behaving the way, you want your children to behave is leading with an example; this includes not complaining about the food and reaching home for dinner on time.

Also Read: 5 Ways To Handle Fussy Eaters

Keeping conversation light:

In case you are one of those families where everyone gets angry in less than a breath, then keeping away from touchy topics is a good strategy.

Some children do not like being reminded of school, especially if they are finding it hard to get grades or make friends. Conversations like these require a sensitive setting and not the dining table.

Avoid discussing grades and keep the discussion to light and pleasant topics. Talk about serious issues in a different and more focused setting.

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Avoid getting into shouting matches:

If a conversation starts spiraling towards a shouting match, it is better to cut it off quickly. No one enjoys eating in a tense atmosphere, if there is an argument bubbling, just say “We will discuss this after dinner.”

Make more family time:

Usually, dinner is the only time the whole family gathers and so the only opportunity to talk, but if parents spend more time with their children these issues that come-up while eating would be resolved earlier. So, it is important to eat as a family and not make dinners into a business meeting.

Overall, it is also important for parents to unwind and let the child unwind to enjoy a better meal. Listening to them and talking about their hobbies helps improve their self-esteem. Family dinners are foundational in family bonding it is important to use this time wisely.

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