40 Funny Pregnancy Quotes

Funny Pregnancy Quotes

Pregnancy is magical and beautiful and truly one of life’s greatest miracles. On the other hand, though, the whole 9 months is actually pretty much one big struggle. So we’re calling all you mamas who might just need a little humor to get you through it to read through some of our very favorite funny pregnancy quotes.

  • “I have two brains in my body but I have never been so dumb.”
  • “It’s double the giggles and double the grins, and double the trouble if you’re blessed with twins.― Author unknown
  • “Life is two-riffic with twins.” ― Author unknown
  • “Can it be that the Greek grammarians invented their dual number for the particular benefit of twins?” ― Herman Melville
  • “Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” ― Elizabeth Stone
  • “There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.” ― Josh Billings
  • “Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.” ― Marshall McLuhan
  • “Being pregnant has made me realize it takes talent not to pee yourself when you sneeze.”
  • “My baby’s body fat is 2 to 3% this week. I am so jealous.” – P!nk
  • “Pregnancy is nine months of cheat days.”
  • “Ask me the gender and due date one more time.”
  • My everyday meals include breakfast, brunch, lunch, pre-dinner, dinner, pre-dessert, dessert, dessert#2 and a post-dinner snack.”
  • “Prenatal yoga focuses on breathing and stretching. So does napping.”
  • “I haven’t had alcohol for months. This is not a pregnancy glow. This is a detox glow.”
  • “‘Pregnancy brain’ is my excuse for everything I don’ want to do.”
  • “I know my baby is going to be an over achiever. I reached my healthy weight gain limit in the first trimester.”
  • “Maternity clothes are regular clothes with a 200% mark up.”
  • “Being pregnant during winter is like getting your hair done and then wearing a hat.”
  • “A baby shower is the last time the world will celebrate you.”
  • “I am pregnant which means I am sober, swollen and hungry. Approach with caution.”
  • “The ‘What fruit does your baby look like this week’ is both cute and creepy.”
  • “Exercising while pregnant is like eating kale on your cheat day.”
  • “The hospital tour is an opportunity to scope out all the couples you will be competing with for the private room.”
  • “Don’t ask me why I am crying because I don’t know.”
  • “The only productive part of me today has been my bladder.”
  • “Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really.” – Dave Barry
  • “My wife just let me know I’m about to become a father for the first time. The bad news is that we already have two kids.” – Brian Kiley
  • “When your wife is pregnant, don’t eat the last, ANYTHING.”
  • “I would love to do whatever I want, whenever I want. But, I am not a Dad.”
  • “My wife is in that stage of pregnancy where people are not sure whether to congratulate her or buy her a gym membership.”
  • “It’s a great thing about being pregnant – you don’t need excuses to pee or to eat.” ― Angelina Jolie
  • “Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.” ― Erma Bombeck
  • “Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.” ― Bill Cosby
  • “There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it” – Chinese proverb
  • “Being pregnant is an occupational hazard of being a wife.” ― Queen Victoria
  • “A ship under sail and a big bellied woman are the handsomest two things that can be seen common.” ― Benjamin Franklin
  • “Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch.” ― E.B. White
  • “Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes.” ― Joyce Armor
  • “My friend has a baby, I am recording all the noises he makes so I can later ask him what he meant.” ― Stephen Wright
  • “Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws, I love it when they come to visit now. They can hold the baby, and I can go out.” ― Matthew Broderick
See also  Navigating pregnancy during the covid 19 pandemic

 

Loading

You May Like
Pregnancy: Understanding the Signs of Preterm Labor and When to Seek Medical Attention
Pregnancy USG

Introduction: As an experienced gynecologist with 28 years of practice, I have helped numerous women navigate the beautiful journey of pregnancy. While most pregnancies progress smoothly, it's essential to be ... READ MORE

What causes nosebleeds in pregnancy, and tips to manage them
nosebleeds during pregnancy

Along with morning sickness, back pains, and headaches, nosebleeds are also a common occurrence in pregnancy. It is a result of rapid hormonal changes that take place inside the body ... READ MORE

Pregnancy myths that women need to stop believing.
Pregnancy myth and truth

Introduction: Pregnancy is a miraculous journey filled with excitement, anticipation, and, unfortunately, plenty of misinformation. As an expectant mother, it's crucial to separate fact from fiction to ensure a healthy and stress-free ... READ MORE

what are the Chances of Getting Pregnant at Every Age?
getting pregnant mother

Introduction: Understanding the chances of getting pregnant at different ages is crucial for individuals or couples who are planning to start a family. Fertility is influenced by various factors, including age, ... READ MORE