All About IVF
Pregnancy is magical and beautiful and truly one of life’s greatest miracles. On the other hand, though, the whole 9 months is actually pretty much one big struggle. So we’re calling all you mamas who might just need a little humor to get you through it to read through some of our very favorite funny pregnancy quotes.
- “I have two brains in my body but I have never been so dumb.”
- “It’s double the giggles and double the grins, and double the trouble if you’re blessed with twins.― Author unknown
- “Life is two-riffic with twins.” ― Author unknown
- “Can it be that the Greek grammarians invented their dual number for the particular benefit of twins?” ― Herman Melville
- “Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” ― Elizabeth Stone
- “There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.” ― Josh Billings
- “Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.” ― Marshall McLuhan
- “Being pregnant has made me realize it takes talent not to pee yourself when you sneeze.”
- “My baby’s body fat is 2 to 3% this week. I am so jealous.” – P!nk
- “Pregnancy is nine months of cheat days.”
- “Ask me the gender and due date one more time.”
- My everyday meals include breakfast, brunch, lunch, pre-dinner, dinner, pre-dessert, dessert, dessert#2 and a post-dinner snack.”
- “Prenatal yoga focuses on breathing and stretching. So does napping.”
- “I haven’t had alcohol for months. This is not a pregnancy glow. This is a detox glow.”
- “‘Pregnancy brain’ is my excuse for everything I don’ want to do.”
- “I know my baby is going to be an over achiever. I reached my healthy weight gain limit in the first trimester.”
- “Maternity clothes are regular clothes with a 200% mark up.”
- “Being pregnant during winter is like getting your hair done and then wearing a hat.”
- “A baby shower is the last time the world will celebrate you.”
- “I am pregnant which means I am sober, swollen and hungry. Approach with caution.”
- “The ‘What fruit does your baby look like this week’ is both cute and creepy.”
- “Exercising while pregnant is like eating kale on your cheat day.”
- “The hospital tour is an opportunity to scope out all the couples you will be competing with for the private room.”
- “Don’t ask me why I am crying because I don’t know.”
- “The only productive part of me today has been my bladder.”
- “Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really.” – Dave Barry
- “My wife just let me know I’m about to become a father for the first time. The bad news is that we already have two kids.” – Brian Kiley
- “When your wife is pregnant, don’t eat the last, ANYTHING.”
- “I would love to do whatever I want, whenever I want. But, I am not a Dad.”
- “My wife is in that stage of pregnancy where people are not sure whether to congratulate her or buy her a gym membership.”
- “It’s a great thing about being pregnant – you don’t need excuses to pee or to eat.” ― Angelina Jolie
- “Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.” ― Erma Bombeck
- “Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.” ― Bill Cosby
- “There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it” – Chinese proverb
- “Being pregnant is an occupational hazard of being a wife.” ― Queen Victoria
- “A ship under sail and a big bellied woman are the handsomest two things that can be seen common.” ― Benjamin Franklin
- “Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch.” ― E.B. White
- “Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes.” ― Joyce Armor
- “My friend has a baby, I am recording all the noises he makes so I can later ask him what he meant.” ― Stephen Wright
- “Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws, I love it when they come to visit now. They can hold the baby, and I can go out.” ― Matthew Broderick
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