Respect.
Parenting requires we find the balance between loving our children, disciplining them, and allowing them the necessary confusion and suffering essential for their self-discovery.
All children have some very basic needs, which when given in the correct balance, help them to develop the resiliency required for a strong sense of Self.
Love
All children need love. All children deserve love. We can give our children all the worlds’ materialistic love yet they will seem done because they want unintentional love and acceptance. What we can never give too much in love. Love is simple, it is nonmaterial and is the feeling we give to our children of complete acceptance.
Faith
We must have faith in our children and give them the rope they need to struggle, discover, and succeed. Our belief in our children determines their belief in themselves. When our children feel dominated by our fears about every new little thing they want to do, explore, or experience our fears covertly communicate we do not believe in them. This covert message undermines our children causing them to either not believe in themselves or to rebel against the controlling nature of our fears.
Confidence
Every child is unique from each other. Putting too much pressure on a child may make them uncertain about themselves. When we behave contentiously towards them, showing a lack of trust in their character or ability to make wise decisions we go against them, putting us on different teams. We have to accept, as parents, that our children are different and unique people from us. We need to allow them the space to be different and to trust we have raised them well enough for them to make mistakes, recover, and do better next time. If we respond contentiously to towards their mistakes or decisions we slowly crush their own drives for self-improvement.
Related Topic: 10 ways to deal with whining behaviour
Patience
Our children need patience, not our pressure. They need us to give them the little rope to come along at their own pace. If they are not up to par in every area of life, adding pressure and control only defeats them. Patience communicates we believe, that in time and with enough practice, they will find their way. We don’t want to raise our children as monkeys who are to be loved only when they perform.
Affection
Touch is one of the most important and grounding aspects of a relationship. Touch cues our hormones for bonding, love, and a sense of security and shows the immediate impact of reducing stress levels. When we see our children in the struggle it is not helpful for us to heap our own anxieties about their struggle onto them. We need to offer affection and support, letting them know that “this too shall pass.” A little affection is that spoon full of sugar that helps the pain go. Talk to your children, love, and snuggle them do not shout at them.
Also Read: 5 Toys You Should Not Buy for Your Kids
Counsel
Counseling doesn’t always mean whenever we see our children troubled with some thought we jump out counsel them. They are kids they don’t even realize when something is troubling them. We should always be a backhand to our kids. They need appreciation and feedbacks. Our role as a parent is to provide feedback to our children which are conducive for building their character. When we criticize or become passive-aggressive they hold themselves back. They will shrink or become enraged and develop negative feelings about themselves. Our children need our counsel to understand that the most important part of their life is the worthwhile struggle of discovering a sense of meaning and purpose.
Pay attention! But also provide privacy.
In this fast-moving internet life, our life has become an open book to everyone. We’ve started to feel that we have the right to know everything about everyone, but this wrong everyone needs their privacy so do our kids. Sometimes the best gift for a child can be the gift of privacy, not asking, not prying, and yet being available if and when your child does want or need to share.
Guidance
As a parent, we need to stay away from controlling, manipulating, and pulling our children away from their natural interest. We must allow them to explore their own decision-making process and guide them to their part accordingly. If we show disgust or disappointment over their choices because they aren’t the choices we would have made them we are manipulating. It is not their responsibility to make up for what we are missing in our own lives.
Time
Spending quality time with children is essential for their healthy growth and development. Children may suffer from behavioral disorders if their parents do not spend enough time with them. “The best thing you can give your children is time.” – This is a saying most quoted by parents who in fact, do not get to spend too much time with their children. Today’s life is busier than we can imagine with parents juggling both home and work, and children being packed off to extra-curricular activities right after school.
You may like: You should stop saying these 6 things to your kids.
According to a study, most families spend just eight hours a week together on average, whereas a weekend should consist of a minimum of two hours devoted to children. Moreover, we see that ‘family time’ may often end up in members watching TV in silence, busy reading, or on phone out of sheer exhaustion. Such a phenomenon may amount to a total lack of parent-and-child bonding resulting in a number of behavioral problems and other insecurities that may affect a child into his or her adult years.
Respect
Sometimes your kids mess up. Sometimes they mess up big time. No matter what they’ve done, though; they still deserve to be treated with respect. Sarcasm, eye-rolling, and biting comments all chip away at a child’s self-respect. Allow them to maintain a sense of dignity in the worst of circumstances. After all, you may have to discipline your kids, but you never, ever have to demean or humiliate them.
Suggested article for you:
Sucking Thumbs- 5 Ways To Deal With This Habit
It has been up for debate whether thumb sucking causes teeth misalignment or not. While some dentists say that thumb sucking beyond the age of four can damage the alignment of baby teeth. Also, it possibly forms jaw deformities, overbite/underbite, lisp due to jaw alignment, and palate (roof of the mouth) alteration. Others argue that the misalignment of teeth and other dental deformities has nothing to do with sucking thumb. Read More: